It’s my life..

In life, we tend to forget good things that happened to us or people do for us. But, we will remember even small bad things that happened or people do. Thus, many a time, we tend to forget, what is ‘appreciate’. Constant good things that happened will lead to being complacent, as in, we will have that kind of mentally that things will DEFINITELY fall into our way. Whether in our daily life, work or even relationship, they exist.

In daily life, we need to appreciate what happened for us everyday: Mum’s cooking, housework she does, nagging she gave, everything she does. I admit, many a time, I tend to “forget” and began to feel complacent. But ya, shouldn’t have. Next, work. Should look at the effort the subordinate puts in. Must appreciate what they did for us, correct and guide them through. Praise them whenever neccessary and not always pin point them. I guessed most of forget about this. I do, sometimes.

In relationship, we got to agree, many of us will somehow, at certain point of time, be complacent bout our partner. We will have the mentality that,”Oh, she will be there.” or “She will do it.” We tend to take things for granted. Many guilty parties uh? I am included. Mutual praise is important, it allows each other to feel comfortable, feel appreciated for what we have done for each other. Ultimately, no one wants to be in a relationship which he/she does not feel comfortable, right?

Avoidance of negetive words and actions even though the other party “gave” us the wrong things. Instead, appreciate what they did by saying a big thank you, and then, try to make do with they did (if possible!) and tactfully tells them that actually this is not what you want. It is skill to pick up, a good skill.

Just do our part in our daily lifes, and I am sure, everything will be fine. Feel appreciated and at the same time, show appreciation for being able to see and feel every single day. Smile always.

“Don’t cry b’coz it’s over, Smile b’coz it happened”

been busy lately, I am real. Basically, they are from all aspect: Work, STUDIES, life..etc. Haven’t been really typing, or rather blogging. Missing all my runs, and races. Sigh x 2. Ok lar, everyone elses is busy, not only me. So ya..

Sat through this lecture on some Management theorist, who made us memorise all sort of thoughts (trouble) he created. Then I realised, actually “arrows” appear long time ago, it’s part and parcel of work. They appears everywhere. Ya, correct. But I hate them. Especially those super last minute. Oh well, if they think it’s fair, fine. But, I realised, sometimes, people just “shoot” without thinking, whether it’s their fault for not making things right, or it’s just…I don’t know. Oh well, somebody just spoilt my plans, that’s why I am so agitated. Plus I am super tired + irritated + worried. It all adds up and equal to “stress” or isn’t it? *let out a long breath* Oh well, I think I just need a media to speak to. It happened that here is a perfect place. I am fine. I’ll be..Definitely will.. =)

Ya, maybe I should start learning to work with less manpower. Ya, Dy mentioned it, though it’s just a remark. But I believe he won’t make such a remark without any “background”. Sigh. I think too much. I hope I am.

So far, everything has been really fine with me, except for some minor cockups along the way, but still manageable. Exams coming up, and it’s like, 6 WEEKS LATER. sigh sigh sigh. I hoped there is a new officer. Nevermind, I will be fine, and I am. At least that’s what I have been telling myself. “Focus!” Baby always say that to me. I guessed that helps, to a certain extent. Definitely, there’s time when PEOPLE make you lose focus by giving you super close deadlines or disrupt your work routines by asking you to manage 101 things and put you somewhere without an OA computer. Worse STILL, DEADLINES. 3 x Combo. Enough to KO a fighter with half a bar of health left. Oh well, definitely not me. I will manage, by the “virtue” that I am the only regular Lieutanant there. Definitely will. I just need time. I will be fine, just fine. =)

School starting at the end of the month. Omg, So fast, so scary. Alot of things come into my mind, but the ultimate thing is still the question of managing, both work and studies. ‘So many people went through and passed, I should be able too!’ thats my mentality in apporaching it. But this thought of mine can be a double-edged sword. Oh wells, good as in, optimistic, bad as in, ‘what if I can’t do it?’ So many thing flooded my mind. Sigh.

I always believed in open communication, in whatever I do, whether it’s work, or is it relationship. I feel uncomfortable keeping things to myself. But I know, sometimes, things are not meant to be said. So…*shrugs*

Oh wells, I guessed I just have to take each day as it goes. I can’t be so affected. I need to concentrate on what I want, what is needed to do so to accomplish it, how am I going about to do that, the priorities in life. I have learnt alot of things from my boss. One of those is setting your priority right. I used to want to handle all the tasks at one go, as in, do abit of this, do abit of that, in the end, what happened? I can’t accomplish on time, then will rush abit. Slowly I get to learn how to priority my tasks, at least I can handle them well now. I hope I am.

Life is all about learning. Learning from everywhere, everyone, even from someone younger than yourself. One most important thing about learning is being positive and less egoistic. Learning from a man doesn’t make you look bad, it just makes youself feel wiser. So yea. Open minded learning is important.

Now, my future is still so unsure, sigh. How? Now, everything is so unsettled. The path in front of me is still misty as ever. I only get to realise what’s in front of me with every step I took. It’s quite bad. Oh wells, I spoke to a friend. She said, it’s ok, I am still young. Young? omg, 23 is not young already. I need to plan well already. I can’t afford to waste any more time. I talked to mum over breakfast today, she told me alot of things. One of those are still the M-factor, the money factor. She said during her time when she is bringing me up, a salary of $400 is still manageable, because of the low living standard. She added, now, even you have $2000, it’s barely sufficient. I asked myself, is having a family so difficult? Well, i guessed so. I feel, in the future, in a family, both husband and wife must be able to work. Pros and Cons. But I feel the Pros attained a higher priortisation over the Cons in this case. Having kid is another worry. Mum said that it’s taxing to have kids, especially when they are studying. She explained to me why she can’t have saving for me during my young days and also why she have to keep on drawing money from my account now. And she said she can’t afford my school fees now and all. I told her I know what’s she had went through. My mum had a tough time bringing me up because of my dad. At least my dad is getting better. I swear to myself I’ll never be like him and I don’t want my wife to go through what my mum went through. It’s so unhealthy. At least I know now my dad has changed to a better self, much much better and he regretted what he has done. Kudos to my mum for being able to forgive and forget. I respect her. Sometimes I want to tell my mum, how much I love her, how much she meant to me, and thank her for bringing me up to who I am now. But I just can’t tell you, mum. The words just stuck somewhere. I can only show my appreciation through actions. Angela said I am not verbal enough. I guessed that’s inbuild in me. It’s me. Sigh. Action speaks louder than words. It’s getting abit emotional here. I have a soft side of myself too. =)

It’s only 1pm, the day is still young. Waiting for time to meet my baby girl. Soon..

I always like to put topic like that. Not because of what, is because, I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE HELL TO PUT!!! Have been quite low, low & lower for the past few weeks. Maybe not enough sleep? Maybe becuase of work? Maybe because of school? Or maybe? *zzz*

Let me do some recollection, the 6 Cs and 1 S in a r/s: Chemistry, Communication, Caring, Comfort, Compromise, Commitement & Security. So… =)

Quoted from << http://justwoman.asiaone.com/Just+Woman/Motherhood/Stories/Story/A1Story20070612-13942.html >> :

‘An often asked question is whether it is okay to be attracted to someone else when one is in a committed relationship. It does not become a matter of concern if the partner is assured that the attraction will not be acted on,’ she says.’

So, what is concluded from this? Simply means, ‘Assurance’. It’s a simple, yet difficult word. Simple as in, ah wells, it’s just a word. Difficult as in it’s not easy to be assured and it takes alot of effort to make sure your other half is assured. How to do it? Ah, this is where communication comes into play. I believe as long as both get to talk it out, this difficult word can be made simple. So yea.. Communication is a 2-way thingy. Thus, open-minded conversation will result in a effective communication. Open-minded as in, understand what’s each other concern pertaining to the r/s (or not!), find ways to reassure each other. The problem can be repetitive, but patience is the golden rule. We might want to approach ‘reptitive’ in another way, asked self, why is it repetitive? Then I guessed, somehow, the answer will appear. Oh wells. Sigh.

I just don’t have the mood to do anything now. Sigh.

It has been sometime since I last updated. Ah wells, kinda lazy to. But anyway, IT’S MY BIRTHDAY TODAY! nnaahh..actually I am not that excited too.

Am feeling rather shitty on my birthday morning, not because I need to come back to work or what. It’s something else. But don’t worry, I know how to handle them professionally. hehe.

Sigh. Anyway, Birthday is just another day, at least to me. 21st and 22nd birthdays, I am at overseas. 23rd birthday, it’s just another day. Shouldn’t feel so negetive. haha. oh wells..

Birthday wish. What exactly is this? Does it really comes true. Yes? No? I don’t know. *shrugs* So far, nothing have yet to convince me that birthday wish DO come true. So yar.. =)

Anyway, I am just being random. Pardon me. I just need something to destress abit.

So, now is morning 8am. Next question: How am I going to spend my birthday? My answer: It’s just another working day, and anything happened in the evening will be a bonus.

Being random again..

Ah wells, the gap. The smallest gap that seperates us. It’s so small and yet the distance is so far. How am I going to mend that gap? How? Feeling rather terrible almost everyday, inclusive of today. I choose not to think of it. But the natural me tells me, it’s there. Why? I don’t know, yet again.

Something tells me, I am not going to enjoy myself today. The something is so strong, so so strong. But sigh.. Happy Birthday to myself! Hehehehe..

It’s a sad song, but it’s a song I like..

温岚 - 祝我生日快乐

我知道伤心不能改变什么
那么~让我诚实一点
诚实~难免有不能控制的宣泄
只有关上了门不必理谁
一个人坐在空荡包厢里面
手机~让它休息一夜
难~想切歌切掉回忆的画面
眼泪不能流过十二点
生日快乐～
我对自己说
蜡烛点了寂寞亮了
生日快乐泪也溶了
我要谢谢你给的你拿走的一切
还爱你~带一点恨
还要时间才能平衡
热恋伤痕画面重生
祝我生日~快乐

And yet again, I am being random..

张智成 - May I Love You

我要如何才能拥抱你呢?
紧紧抱着我吻你你附和
从朋友晋升情人角色
从苦涩转变成了快乐
把钥匙交给了你
你却转身将我囚禁
在一扇叫做等待的门里
你试过那么多心的锁
怎么就不来开启我的爱情

Love you, love you, may I love you?
Tell me what to do
才能让你不孤单我不孤独一起找幸福
当这个世界一步一步华丽到荒芜
请放心我还是你的信徒

Love you, love you, may I love you?
Tell me you love me too
我可以继续付出付出就够我满足
不相信爱情对我永远(的)残酷
我奢望时间会为我祝福

看着我这样投入难道你都没有感触
不接受至少给我些帮助
就说你感动到想哭
多少能减轻一点我的痛苦

I really love your company.

Again, everyone elses have their bad days at times. Oh wells, me too, and it so happened that it’s today. Woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Camp pass went missing from 0630hrs to 0800hrs, only to find it hanging on my LBV. Fair, then off I went to Maju Camp. The men who are going to get tested isn’t performing to standards, particularly one of them. Make me spend my time scolding and reprimanding again! Shit! Alright, off I went back to Clementi Camp. Missed my way. Arrgghhh.. Oh ya, was cycling.hehe. Reached camp, another round to conduct test. talked damn long. Evening is the worse. Fatigue from the day, can’t think properly. Plus headache and gum pain. Ultimate. Still need complete a few tasks. Nvm la. Shall not talked about the evening.

He misses her..

My eyes are closing..enough for today. Let’s hope tomorrow will be a better day. Oh wells..hopefully..

Finally I got my new bike. It’s going to be a massive $3k. OMG! First time I am spending so much on something. But, as I said, it’s a good investment. =) These 2 days has been riding. I love night cycling. The feeling of cool wind blowing against your face, the feeling of ‘I own this road’, all feel so comfy. It’s also a time to allow myself to reflect back on what happened for the day & releases the stress I encounter during the course of work. I always feel better after a good run or a cycle. Oh wells..

It has been sometimes since I feel this way. I guessed only you can make me feel this way.. =) I don’t mind to make an extra mile just to see you. It feel so good to have you near. But still, everything seems so unsure. But I am sure. =) so yea.

Just finished an exercise this afternoon. If i said I am not tired, then I am lying. Shag out man. Sharril also shag out. Reached home about 4pm. Washed up and slept till 10pm. Luckily someone called, or else, I will continue sleeping. =P haha. I missed my run too! Planned for it and did not execute. Omg, that’s it. Haven’t been training much. Die lar. How man?

Excited about getting on my new bike and ride on the road. But thinking about $3k gonna get deducted from bank. Abit heartpain. But still, it’s a good investment. Hopefully. Tomorrow will be a nice day, hopefully. Sunday soccer? Doubt so. Gotta do something better.

Seems like exams can be grueling at times. They make people change. It all goes down to the word ’stress’. Oh well, we just need to handle it properly. Everything will be just fine! =)

Went to play billiard with Webb. Talked abit about everything (as usual!). Went for supper at Prata House. Long time I never had pratas. Shiok. But not so often la. Need to lose weight. But must do it in a proper and healthy way. At the same time, keep fit. =)

Love the time I spent with you. Love the company you gave. Love the talks we share. I never had this kind of feeling for the longest time. Thanks! =) Just remember to be yourself. Don’t hide your feelings. Not healthy. Hehe.

杜德伟 - 天真
爱你的心爱你的人
爱你在早晨爱你在黄昏
我无时无刻
无所不能的为你
耐心的等等你来疼
对你的爱一天天的加深
哪怕结果会残害我一身
火热的心水不熄风吹不冷
只希望能和你共度一生

我这个爱人有点天真
有点点愚笨
对爱没天分
爱你的眼神爱的天真
紧闭的双唇
只愿等你亲吻

想你的心想你的人
想你在早晨想你在黄昏
我无时无刻
无心无魂的想你
我愿意忍我是认真

ps: =)
Signed off: huat-